


Try Lullabies

by kettlepillow



Category: Kingsman (Movies)
Genre: Angst and Fluff and Smut, Dirty Talk, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Explicit Sexual Content, Falling In Love, Friends to Lovers, Lee Unwin Lives, M/M, Minor Character Death, Mutual Pining, Roadtrip, Sharing a Bed
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-09-14
Updated: 2017-09-14
Packaged: 2018-12-13 10:22:45
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,233
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11757828
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kettlepillow/pseuds/kettlepillow
Summary: Lee Unwin's last request sounds simple: 'Take care of Eggsy. Win his heart.'Harry soon realizes it's the toughest mission of his life...





	Try Lullabies

**Author's Note:**

  * For [BakaDoll](https://archiveofourown.org/users/BakaDoll/gifts).



Lee Unwin stared out of his hospital room’s window to watch the light fade.  
The man sitting by his bedside followed his gaze and smiled sadly.  
‘Harry.’ Said Lee. ‘Can I ask you for a favour, one last time?’  
‘Anything.’  
Lee smoothed over the bedsheet and focused on his friend.

‘Please take care of Eggsy.’  
The knot in Harry’s throat tightened even more. He didn’t consider himself an emotional man, but under such circumstances it was different.  
Lee had told him one week ago that the tumour in his brain was growing fast. Too fast. He would likely not survive surgery or therapy.  
Now he asked Harry for something that could only mean he had given up. He gave him responsibility for his only child…?

‘I-‘ Harry adjusted his glasses and struggled. ‘I could never…He’s my friend and a brilliant agent but, I can’t even imagine to try replacing you.’

Lee grinned. His bald head and pale features made him look like a happy alien.  
‘He likes you very much. Very. You know that.’ It was not a question. ‘Michelle isn’t an option. You know that, too. Eggsy deserves someone to lean on.’

Harry inhaled carefully.  
‘You want me to do what exactly?’ He raised a brow.  
‘I want you to win his trust and heart.’ Lee shook his head. ‘Don’t be so dense. I see you two chatting and laughing and flirting, Harry. And I don’t mind. In fact, I would be glad to see him by your side. Eggsy could find shelter. Do you understand?’  
‘I’m afraid I don’t.’  
Lee’s eyes were huge and serious.

‘Do you think that maybe one day you could hold his hand in compassion, not out of duty but love?’

♦

Harry replayed the conversation in his head. Over and over and over again. It was like a song that wouldn’t leave his ears.  
Sipping some whiskey seemed appropriate after such an intense evening.

Lancelot, Lee Unwin had given him the explicit mission to win his son’s affection. To develop the most honest of feelings. A matchmaker with terminal cancer.  
Harry’s bitter laugh fogged-up the whiskey glass.  
He couldn’t deny Lee’s words. Since day one, Eggsy had charmed his way into Harry’s heart. Completely unintentionally at first. Harry’s natural response had let to banter and open admiration. But nothing like romance or fatherly love. Not even physical affection.  
Harry was well aware of their age gap. He was after all, even older than Lee. It was beyond inappropriate to consider it. Even a close platonic relationship could be risky under the judging eyes of society.  
And yet, Lee had asked for it as his dying wish.  
Cold reality settled in and Harry realized that a gentleman could not ignore another man’s last request like it meant nothing.

The doorbell rang and pulled him out of his thoughts.  
He sat down the glass and glanced at his watch. A quarter past midnight was late for a visit even by Kingsman standards.  
Pulling his dressing gown tightly around his frame, Harry made his ways to the front door and opened slowly.

‘Hi, Haz.’  
Eggsy.  
Outside the door stood a sobbing mess of a boy, shaky and barely able to look at him. He wore his civilian clothes and sunglasses, regardless of the late hour. Presumably to cover his red eyes.  
Harry ushered him inside without a word. Eggsy just stood by the coat rack and cried.  
There were no words for how utterly helpless Harry felt.  
He could guess what had happened. But that alone frightened him. The older man inhaled, just to stop himself again from babbling like a moron.  
He went in for a very careful embrace.  
It only let to more shaking and louder sniffles.  
Harry brought enough distance between them to look at Eggsy’s face and removed the sunglasses. His eyes were puffy and red and tightly shut in pain. Still clinging to his former mentor, the boy buried his now bare face in the crimson dressing gown.

Eggsy tried to speak but only managed a hiccup.  
‘Shhh.’ Harry shook his head and led him to the sofa. ‘You don’t have to tell me just now. It’s alright, Eggsy. Let me fix you some tea. I’ll be back in a minute.’

All in mission mode, Galahad hurried to the kitchen. As he fiddled with some tea bags, his glasses began to vibrate.

‘Merlin.’ Said he. His voice as sad as he felt.  
‘You’ve heard it already?’  
‘The boy just crashed on my doorstep. Quite literally.’  
‘Thank God. I was worried since Michelle lost it and just ran off, apparently. Probably to this Dean Baker person Lee was so very fond of.’ Merlin’s words dripped with heavy sarcasm. ‘I will never understand women and their weakness for self-proclaimed ‘Alpha males’. Anyway, I placed bugs in the flat month ago. Just in case.’  
Harry put the kettle on.  
‘I looked into his will, Harry. Lee wants ye to-‘  
‘Take care of Eggsy?’ Asked Harry irritated.  
‘…I was going to say, get his Kingsman related property. Hang on, why would he want that?’

Harry ended the call and took a moment to swallow his sorrow.  
Fighting with Lee’s weapons. Driving Lee’s company car. Giving his son a loving home.  
He took the two mugs and returned to the living room.

Eggsy downed the tea like a shot of vodka. He didn’t look up. They just sat in silence while the older man drank the smallest sips and started to fidget.  
Half an hour passed without a word.  
Harry was getting concerned but he eventually realized that Eggsy’s breath came much slower and deep, his chin rested fully on the heaving chest. His eyes were no longer squeezed shut in agony. The sleeping aid tea mix had done almost too good of a job.

Something inside him balled up like two fists, trying desperately to steady him. Harry fought the urge to cradle the boy, cry, shout at God and beg for mercy. Nobody deserved to have *only* him to run to. A man without family, far from being the gentleman he ought to be. Brutal in combat, a killer and not capable to express feelings properly.  
The tears on his cheeks ran hotly into his mouth and dripped from his chin onto the dressing gown. He muffled his shaky inhales poorly.  
After a while the calming effect of crying settled in and Galahad made his way back into Harry’s personality. 

‘Let’s get you comfy.’ Whispered he with a tight jaw while still sniffling.  
Harry removed Eggsy’s shoes with some difficulties. The young man was too heavy to be carried upstairs by one person. His body was athletic, packed with muscles from hard training and missions.  
The jacket followed, as well as the belt which Harry decided was too bulky to get good sleep in. He found the thick bundle of a wallet in the back pocket of Eggsy’s jeans. It would also cause discomfort. Harry unfolded it. Cards, driving license, nothing special. He was almost relieved. His eyes wandered and there was a picture of him and Eggsy. Slid between two cards and sticking out on top.

Harry smiled as he looked closer. It showed the both of them at the annual Kingsman Christmas dinner: All dapper Galahad and Eggsy (aka Gawain) in an ugly pug sweater. Harry shook his head and moved on.  
He laid Eggsy’s legs down and supported the weight of his upper body and head while doing so. Manhandling Eggsy into a lying position felt more intimate than Harry would’ve admitted.

Finally he put a blanket on top of the completely limp body, all the way to Eggsy’s chin.  
Standing in the doorframe, Harry allowed himself a last long glance at his colleague and friend.

If there was one person on earth he could grow to love, it was Eggsy.

♦

‘WHERE IS HE?’ yelled Harry. Bedhead, clothes and glasses askew, standing in front of the empty sofa with nervously flexing muscles.

Merlin sounded tired and fed-up.  
‘Good morning, sunshine. This might be news to ye, but I’m not the lad’s babysitter when he’s off-duty.’  
‘Come on, Hamish.’  
‘If I had to guess, I’d say he’s at a funeral parlour. Namely, because he called to ask if I had any clue if Lee had a favourite flower.’  
Harry swallowed.  
‘Why would he run off like that and come to you before me?’  
‘Try JH Kenyon Funeral Directors Westminster.’

Merlin hadn’t finished when his friend was already out the door.

 

The traffic around Victoria Station was moving slower than ever.  
Once again Harry wished Kingsman cabs had authorization to use blue lights and sirens. He had tried to call Eggsy twenty times in ten minutes. It was simply not right to leave a boy alone who had just lost his father. The images in Galahad’s seasoned mind became more horrid by the second.  
Harry told the driver to stop and jumped out like his life depended on it.  
Just when he had jogged the last few meters, the parlour’s door swung open and the boy he was looking for appeared.

‘Eggsy!’ Harry took big gulps of air.  
Eggsy glanced at him and rolled his eyes.  
‘So now you’re also a stalker?’  
‘What?’  
‘Why’d you follow me?’  
Eggsy kept walking and let Harry trail after him in confusion.  
‘Excuse me? You were gone? I was worried out of my skull that you might’ve harmed yourself after-‘  
‘After you drugged me and looked through my wallet? Get lost, mate.’

Harry froze for a moment before his legs remembered to catch up.

‘You think I wouldn’t notice when someone goes through my stuff? You think I would’ve passed out like that without getting drugged after what happened? Really Harry, I could use a bit of slack right now. Or you know, a friend.’  
‘I AM your friend, Eggsy! I wanted you to get some sleep!’

Eggsy disappeared into the tube channel.  
‘Try lullabies, asshole!’ 

Harry stared into the darkness of the tube and heard only his own pulse.

Back in the cab he received another call from his favourite tech wizard.  
‘I know I’m going to regret this but, do ye want to talk about it?’  
‘Be there in ten.’

♦

Merlin’s lab was large and full of supplies. Harry sank down on the old leather armchair, previously buried under a pile of cables.

‘I don’t know how, but I made it worse.’  
Merlin removed his glasses and pinched the bridge of his nose.’  
‘How on EARTH can one make the death of one’s father worse? Did ye suggest to eat him?’  
‘I mixed sleeping serum in Eggsy’s tea and looked through his wallet.’

Merlin said nothing and just blinked at him for a long moment. He inhaled, stopped himself and pursed his lips.  
‘Look, I know ye meant well. But the lad probably thinks you’re mentally unstable.’  
‘He needed to calm down, dammit!’  
‘Doesn’t change the fact that he lost trust in ye. At least partially.’  
‘Now that’s just great! Sorry, Lee! Won’t be wooing your son then!’  
Harry threw his hands in the air and spoke to the ceiling.

‘Pardon?’  
‘When I last visited Lee, he asked me to win Eggsy’s… heart so that he would have someone to take care of him. And before you ask, I have no idea if ‘heart’ was a metaphor for something.’ He held his hands defensive in front of him. ‘I think what he meant was soulmates rather than fuck buddies.’  
Merlin pulled a face.  
‘Very funny. Well, if anything Lee was a considerate father. And anyone with eyes can see that ye two adore each other. So it makes sense, I guess. Shouldn’t be too much of a challenge.’  
‘Thank you.’  
‘You’re welcome.’

Silence.  
Merlin eyed the monitors ever so often.  
‘You’re lucky that even al-Qaida is apparently on summer break. Otherwise I wouldn’t have the time to take care of two toddler agents.’  
Harry failed to hold in a snort.  
Merlin smirked.

He stood and grabbed Harry’s shoulder firmly but not harsh.  
‘Lee would be proud of the efforts ye make, Harry. You’re doing much better than most relatives would.’  
‘I know it was Lee’s wish, but that’s not why I’m trying. I want Eggsy to have more than a shadow of a real home. I want- I want Eggsy.’

♦

A week later Eggsy stood by the white marble headstone of Lee Unwin’s grave. 

He read the engraved dates over and over again like a mantra while the afternoon wind tore at his hair. The little group of people that had joined him to say goodbye to his dad were mostly Kingsman agents and mates from the pub.  
The beautiful ceremony had been followed by a short but heartfelt moment in the graveyard.  
Harry stood close behind Eggsy, too afraid to touch, even though he wanted to comfort the sniffling boy.  
‘You came, but my mum didn’t. Fucked up, mate.’  
‘Merlin says she was brought into a closed institution to get back on track…’ Harry cringed at his own words. ‘Living with Mr Baker for the last days was apparently…challenging.’  
Eggsy started crying in earnest.

Someone behind them cleared their throat.  
‘Harry.’ It was Merlin. ‘Take these and get the lad out of here. He needs a break.’ The handler gave Harry a bunch of keys.

His friend eyed the keys.  
‘Did you talk to Arthur about this?’  
‘I kindly informed him that his two best agents need to recharge or they’ll likely never be as effective again.’

Merlin looked from the group of men in bespoke to the boy blowing his nose.

‘Scotland is the best place to take a break from England.’

♦

‘Scotland?!’  
Eggsy looked out of the car’s window with wide eyes as if the Highlands were merely meters away. The grudge seemed forgotten.  
He was still wearing his all black suit and Harry had insisted that he wouldn’t need to pack anything. They’d be provided with everything.  
‘And this is Merlin’s car, as well?’

Harry couldn’t help but smile. Eggsy was a car enthusiast through and through. No matter how bad of a day he had. 

‘1964 Triumph Spitfire, yes. Merlin’s version of a baby.’

♦

After four hours of driving slowly towards the coast, Harry had difficulties keeping his eyes open.  
Eggsy snoozed by his side, completely without medicine.  
The older man knew the route well enough to find the next shelter on their way.

He parked the old-timer close to the Inn’s entrance while the radio started a cheesy Jazz marathon.  
Sweet holidays.

‘Eggsy.’ Came his low voice.  
The boy jerked awake and stared at him like he’d never seen him before. Slowly his consciousness surfaced and he yawned loudly.  
‘We there already?’  
‘No. This is Grasshopper’s Inn. We’ll spend the night here. I have no intention to fall asleep on the road.’

Eggsy groaned.  
‘You’re kidnapping me.’  
‘Yes Eggsy. Spot on.’ Harry rolled his eyes and marched towards the entrance.

His ‘victim’ followed hesitantly.  
‘I don’t even have a toothbrush!’  
‘Eggsy! Will you please stop acting like a child?’  
They entered and faced the dimly lit reception.  
‘Oh I’m sorry. My dad was taken six feet under, but for Harry Hart I’ll act unfazed.’  
Harry ignored him and was greeted by the old lady behind the counter.

‘Good evening, gentlemen.’  
‘Good evening, madam. We would like to book two single rooms for the night.’  
‘Of course. Please follow me, I’ll show you the way.’

The rooms were directly next to each other, small but clean and comfy. The innkeeper had provided them with toothbrushes and soap.

♦

Harry lay awake long after they’d said good night.  
The old house seemed to breathe around them. Like the home of his childhood.  
Eggsy was hurting. He didn’t trust him any more than a week ago. Harry feared for him to slip away slowly. To quit his job as an agent, even. Who knew what his pain felt like and which dark words the sorrow inside him whispered?

There was a noise.  
Harry was in full agent mode immediately. Wide awake he drew his knife from the bedside drawer and listened.

It came from Eggsy’s room. Soft and muffled by the old stone walls trickled Eggsy’s sobbing through to Harry.  
He let the knife sink and closed his eyes to collect the flood of thoughts pouring over him.

On autopilot he sat up and left his room to press one ear to the door next to his.  
A battle unfolded inside Harry. Torn between yanking the door open to comfort the boy and quietly retreating to his bed.  
He considered the outcome of both actions and hated himself for being so hesitant.

Lee wouldn’t want his son to cry in the dark like that, he thought. There was his answer.

Harry cracked the door open.

‘Go. Away.’ Eggsy mumbled into his pillow. ‘Please?’  
His mentor slowly entered the dark room and sank down on the edge of the bed.  
‘Your dad loved you so much, Eggsy.’ Harry blinked to make out Eggsy’s shape under the cover. Curled up tightly and on the furthest other end of the mattress. ‘He said to me… he told me to look after you. I know it’s stupid, right? An old man telling another old man to take responsibility for the well-being of a grown, younger man.’ Harry had to force himself to stay calm and not pull at Eggsy’s bedsheet to get a reaction. ‘I know I acted like an arse and wasn’t there for you the whole last week. And I know that I’m not your father or one of your mates. But by God, I will do whatever it takes to make you stop crying and-‘ He balled his fist into the linen. ‘I’ll do it, not for some gentleman bullshit reason, but because you’re genuinely important to me. I want to be part of your life. ’  
Eggsy turned to look at him in the darkness.  
He seemed to decide whether Harry had been honest.

‘Will you stay here for a bit then?’ His voice was soft but no longer cracking.  
‘Um, sure.’ Harry was taken by surprise but searched for an armchair to get comfortable in. From the corner of his eye he saw Eggsy lifting the ghostly white cover.  
‘It’s okay if you don’t want to lay down. I understand. Err, I just thought it would be less of a pain.’

‘True.’ Harry felt awkward crawling into bed with Eggsy, seconds after his confession. But he was as he had said himself, an old man. So there was nothing to it.  
He looked at Eggsy and Eggsy looked at him.  
Their pupils were huge due to the lack of light, but the faint shimmer of the lights outside were enough to give their eyes a soft glistering.  
‘I’m sorry.’ Said Eggsy. ‘For calling you an asshole and a kidnapper and-‘ 

Harry pulled him into a hug with one arm.  
It was nice to feel Eggsy slowly relax until his face was resting against Harry’s shirt and he started to fall asleep.  
Harry adjusted carefully and tucked at the cover.  
He stifled a small gasp.

‘You are-‘ He whispered more to himself.  
‘Didn’t bring pyjamas, either.’ Eggsy answered sleepily.’Lemme just…’ He tried to inch away slightly and turn his naked body. 

‘It’s quite alright, Eggsy.’ Harry stopped the struggles by curling one arm around the boy’s shoulders.

♦

The next morning came and Harry opened his eyes to the soft light of a new, rainy day in England.  
He had slept pretty soon after they’d arranged in Eggsy’s bed. Remembering yesterday felt like remembering a dream. Far away and numb.

His gaze found Eggsy and Harry took in the sight of his body sprawled out on the other side of the bed. The sheet had slipped off his frame and allowed the view of Eggsy’s back in all its muscular glory.

Harry had seen Eggsy naked during training and many missions. But this was different. Completely relaxed, smooth and right. There. 

Maybe he was old. Okay. But not too old to feel stirrings in his abdomen at the sight of a perfectly shaped apple butt, inches away from his itching fingers.

This wasn’t right! His body begged to differ…

‘Jesus Christ.’ Murmured Harry and smoothed both hands over his face. He was drawn back to Eggsy’s heaving side and the deep ridge where his spine lay. The almost ivory glowing skin and the light stubble on a perfectly cut jaw.  
Harry rose abruptly and left the room in a hurry.

Back in his, he stood in front of the bathroom mirror and stared at his own shocked face as he grabbed himself through the boxers to find his cock half hard.

‘This happens when you don’t get a leg over in six month, Hart. Bloody well done.’ Harry murmured reproachful.

♦

Breakfast was awkward.  
They sat at a small table in the tiny dining room of the inn and seemed massively overdressed in their funeral clothes.  
Some hikers gave them looks as they silently ate their toast.

Harry, not even half an hour after wanking to the image of the boy opposite to him, wanted to disappear into the ground.  
Eggsy watched him over his tea cup with interest.

‘I heard you leave.’ 

Harry’s eyes widened only a fraction.  
‘I needed the bathroom.’

‘My room has a bathroom.’

‘I didn’t want to disturb you.’

‘Diarrhoea?’

Harry almost inhaled his sandwich.  
‘What? No!’

‘I’m guessing hard-on, then.’

Harry closed his eyes.

‘Eggsy, just stop.’

Eggsy grinned and nibbled at the tip of his croissant.  
‘Oh Harry, next time Imma take you all the way in. Had I only known.’ He droned theatrically.

A group of nosy hikers and Harry watched Eggsy deep-throat his breakfast.

♦

Merlin’s old car, the bad weather and various other factors led to Harry and Eggsy arriving two hours later than anticipated. It was already evening.  
The small cottage lay right by the shore in a small nest near Edinburgh.

‘So this is Merlin’s home.’ Said Eggsy full of wonder. 

‘It’s become more of a company’s home. More than his dad would’ve liked that is.’ Harry stopped and kicked himself for mentioning Merlin’s father. But the boy seemed unbothered.  
Eggsy stood on tiptoes trying to find the sea in the distance.

 

After unpacking the few things they had with them and looking through the entire house, both men sat down for a cup of tea and dinner.

‘Can’t believe everything’s here.’ Mumbled Eggsy, munching on the stew that had been waiting in the fridge. ‘They even had underwear in my size in the guest room!’  
‘Well, Merlin must’ve planned our little trip for longer than a day.’ Harry cast his gaze down to avoid Eggsy’s questioning look.  
‘Mhm?’  
‘I think Lee talked to Merlin about what to do should he-‘  
‘Oh.’

Harry looked miserable.  
‘I’m no longer mad at you, if that’s what makes you sad right now.’ Tried Eggsy.

‘Eggsy.’ Harry sounded hesitant. ’Lee wanted me to-‘ Shit, this was difficult. ‘He hoped that I might become your…’

Eggsy waited with wide eyes and an open smile.

‘He wanted me to become your friend. Yes.’ Closed Harry and nodded before clearing his throat and digging into his bowl again. ‘He wanted you to have a friend in me.’  
Eggsy couldn’t help but laugh out loud.  
‘Was he already mentally confused or something? Harry. You saved my life before and I saved yours. You chose me as a candidate. If we ain’t friends by now, what are we?’

Harry cracked a smile.  
‘You’re right, he was probably dizzy from the medication. I’m glad that you see it this way, though.’

Eggsy grabbed a yoghurt from across the table.  
‘Well, I thought it might be improper, but since I’m mourning and all, might as well tell you.’ He licked the yoghurt off the lid. ‘When we first met I really fancied you. I’d seen you last when I was a toddler, right? So it was basically like meeting you for the first time and you were all handsome and polite. I thought, well mum wouldn’t mind if I shagged *that* guy.’ He giggled into the yoghurt.

Harry didn’t really know what to answer without blowing his façade completely.  
‘I’m awfully flattered, but I think your father would’ve killed both of us.’

‘Nah.’ Eggsy downed his tea. ‘I told him about it and he just laughed and said I had good taste in blokes.’

‘Had…’

‘Come again?’

Harry realized he’d thought out loud.  
‘Oh, nothing.’

‘Listen, I’m knackered. I’ll just take a shower real quick and head to bed.’

While Eggsy was in the bathroom, Harry opened one of the heavy decanters in the salon and poured himself some of Merlin’s homemade Whiskey. Very strong, very illegal, very delicious. His insides were on fire anyway. Lee had known it through Eggsy! The fact that Eggsy talked about his ‘crush’ on him like he talked about football was unbelievable. It also indicated that Eggsy didn’t think for one minute about what Harry felt.  
Harry emptied his glass and headed upstairs to prepare for bed himself.

Passing the bathroom door he clearly heard Eggsy and running water.  
‘Oh please, don’t let the boy have a nervous breakdown in the shower.’

Eggsy was sniffling and mumbling and apparently gasping for air. The sound echoed from the tiled walls.

Alarmed, Harry banged at the door.  
‘Eggsy! Are you alright? If you slip and break a hip I’ll be very cross with you!’ He wasn’t really angry, obviously. But maybe Eggsy would calm down if he was distracted by a harsh tone.

‘Fuck’s sake, Harry!’

Harry was baffled by the firm voice that replied.  
‘Sorry! I thought you were… distressed. Never mind.’

 

Ten minutes later the door opened and Harry sat on the edge of his bed to brace himself for whatever Eggsy might look like. He peaked into the hallway.

Eggsy wore a towel around his hips and one on his head. Clearly a technique Michelle had helped him develop.  
He eyed his mentor reproachful. 

‘Listen, I appreciate you taking care of me and all.’ He towelled his hair dry. ‘But if I can’t even have a wank without you inquiring about my well-being, we’re going to have an issue.’

All the colour vanished from Harry’s face. He could feel hot embarrassment creep up on him.

‘I’m sorry, Harry. I should’ve used different words, more mannered…’ He gave an awkward half smile. ‘Are you going to pretend to be a statue now?’  
Harry pressed the air out of his lungs with some difficulties. He was a secret agent, over fifty years of age, had slept with rich people around the globe and killed even more. Yet, he mutated into a cub when it came to interacting with this boy not half his age.

‘I’m sorry. I think I’m a bit exhausted. I didn’t even consider the possibility, I guess.’  
‘Because of the recent events.’ Stated Eggsy.  
‘Yes. Frankly I didn’t think you would need release.’  
‘Unlike you.’ Eggsy raised a brow.  
‘Yes.’ Harry was tired of denying the undeniable. 

‘Well, I suppose sharing this huge king-size monster of a bed is out of the question now.’ Eggsy said with mock disappointment. ‘I have failed you.’

Now it was Harry’s turn to laugh.  
‘You don’t have to force yourself into the guest bed. It’s not like I’ve got a trauma because a young man had an erection. Nothing shocking about that.’

So Eggsy changed into the provided pyjama and got comfortable on his side of the bed.  
He found a copy of Jane Eyre in the bedside table.

After a while he put the book down and turned to Harry.  
‘Can I have a hug?’

Harry looked up from the Sudoku magazine. His glasses sat low on his nose and he struggled not to ask if he’d heard correctly.  
He just leaned over and pulled Eggsy close. 

‘Missed a proper hug.’ Said Eggsy into Harry’s shoulder.

Harry closed his eyes. He felt Eggsy’s warmth and his heart swell as he realized that this sense of security was mutual. He wanted to treasure it. Forever.  
‘I love you.’

‘Wha-?‘ Eggsy asked into the shoulder. He struggled a bit to be able to look at Harry. He sat up properly, wide eyes and a light blush.  
Harry folded his glasses.

‘It’s true, Eggsy. I wish I were younger so it would sound less pathetic.’

‘Pa- pathetic?’

Harry had to find different words. Quickly.  
‘Not pathetic. I mean, I wish I were your age and I would’ve told you sooner and the circumstances were less.’ He sighed in defeat. ‘Pathetic.’

‘You said *the words* to make me feel better.’

‘I meant them.’

Eggsy had a neutral expression on his face all of the sudden. Almost sobered.  
‘Sure. I love you too. No big deal. I’m going to sleep.’ He turned off the bedside lamp and lay with his back towards Harry.

Harry panicked.  
Real panic is a feeling of overwhelming helplessness, paired with the sensation of someone tearing your guts from your body.  
Harry sat there and stared at his Sudoku magazine, back to Eggsy and at his own hands, fisted in the bed sheet.  
He was a trained agent of her Majesty and had endured many hours of brutal torture.  
This. Was almost killing him.  
And because no human being is immune to emotional torture, Harry had no control over the tears rolling down his cheeks.  
He tried to be silent but his nose filled up with snot and his body’s reflex was a sniffle.  
Harry grabbed a handkerchief from the drawer beside him and wiped his face gingerly. A stronger man would’ve left to get fresh air, but Harry’s legs wouldn’t carry him. He had failed. He had failed to gain Eggsy’s trust back, to communicate his true feelings and on top of that he had failed to fulfil Lee’s last wish. There was no mutual love. Just miscommunication and anger.

‘I meant them, too.’  
Eggsy’s voice filled the room despite being soft.

Harry didn’t move a muscle.  
His bedside lamp was the only source of light and he hated to be exposed. Wanted to be hidden in the dark.

‘Do you know how many times I imagined you telling me that you see me as more than a friend or a fellow Kingsman? Ever since I was introduced to you I thought of you as the most loyal, honest and even funniest man. And then you mumble the magic words into my ear and call it ‘pathetic’ and how your age is somehow an issue. Wasn’t exactly genius, feel me?’

‘Y- yes.’ Harry looked at the back of Eggsy’s head. ‘I have never said it before, you know?’

Eggsy turned over and searched Harry’s eyes. ‘What?’

‘I’ve never told anyone before that I love them.’  
The silence stretched uncomfortably. 

Eggsy’s face suddenly threatened to crumble.  
‘Oh no, no, no, no.’  
Harry jumped to action immediately and lowered himself to Eggsy’s level, so that they were directly facing each other.

‘I’ve never meant it before, that’s why I didn’t say the words.’ He whispered quickly. ‘But that’s okay. Because I mean them now. I just needed you to understand why it came across so badly timed and why I had no clue how to express myself properly. But I wanted to try. Because of you.’

Eggsy’s voice was tiny and shaky.  
‘Can I have a kiss?’

Harry hesitated. He had snot on his face somewhere. Surely.

Eggsy’s sharp jaw trembled ever so slightly.

He inched closer until their lips met. Harry could feel the tremble now, rather than see it. Very slowly he pressed a kiss to Eggsy’s perfect pout and indulged in a heartbeat of bliss. Eggsy let out a small gasped. Harry ignored the urge to take the invitation of an open mouth and claim what he loved.  
For the short moment of a kiss they breathed the same air and it wasn’t pathetic at all.

♦

 

The next day came and both men enjoyed the quaint home of theirs.  
They didn’t pick up the topic from last night.  
Harry because he was too insecure to proceed from a mumbled confession of love and a crying fit.  
Eggsy because he was busy exploring the little village and every last corner of the house. He took the opportunity for distraction with both hands.

After dinner that night, Harry went to the small library to look for more puzzle magazines, since the Wi-Fi was plain awful.  
His glasses vibrated.  
‘Just checking on ye.’ Explained Merlin straight away. ‘There’s a massive storm coming towards the shore.’

‘Perfect. Matches the mood then.’

‘What?’

Harry considered lying for only a heartbeat.  
‘I confessed my love to Eggsy and now I have no clue how to proceed.’ Harry dropped the polished accent and wiped his face.’ Especially since he admitted to have feelings for me. What do I do?’ He felt like a teenager.

Merlin was silent.  
‘First of all, several agents owe me money now.’ He sounded satisfied. ‘Secondly, ye should figure out if this is serious or just caused by Lee’s dying wish.’

Harry was disappointed that Merlin doubted him.

‘It’s true, Hamish. I would die for him without thinking twice. And I don’t mean on a mission. I told you before that I want Eggsy. Kingsman can bugger off. The way he feels in my embrace. I will not give that up.’

‘When ye say ‘want’-‘

Harry graoned.

‘All I’m saying is that getting the lad naked might help. I know you’re both clean and from what I gathered needy’

‘Bloody hell.’

‘You seduced some influential, rich people of all genders, Harry. And this lad is most likely getting hard just thinking about you! It can’t be that difficult to see where you two stand.’

Harry disconnected, knowing that getting relationship advice from Merlin was a new low. But as usual, he was right. Harry had to make the next move to see if there was new found trust and a chance for them to take care of each other.

 

In no way would’ve Harry predicted that Eggsy was getting naked without any sexual implications that evening.

Harry sat in bed with his Sudoku magazine when Eggsy walked in.  
‘Do you mind if I skip the pyjama? I get so warm during the night.’

‘Go ahead.’ Said Harry. ‘You were in the nude the first night.’  
It was like nothing had changed and it concerned Harry a great deal. He felt no desire to swipe it all under the rug.

Eggsy dropped his pants unceremoniously and folded all his clothes neatly on a pile.  
He looked like a body from an anatomy book: Perfectly toned muscles, broad shoulders in ratio to slim hips, as symmetrical as a human being gets. Harry admired his back just like two nights ago. When Eggsy turned around he cast his gaze down quickly. There was no excuse to ogle like that. Not even when you caught a glimpse of a cock that you wouldn’t mind sucking instantly.

‘You’re gorgeous.’ Told Harry the Sudoku in his lap.  
There was no response, so he looked up to find Eggsy grinning and flushed like a cherry tomato. He hurried to get under the cover and proceeded to just stare ahead for a bit. Eventually he grabbed Harry’s hand without warning.

Harry held it but continued to search for the next number to fill in. Because nothing would've been worse than two grown men holding hands silently and half naked while staring at nothing. 

Eggsy palm was soft and a bit sweaty from the tight grip.  
A single beat of sweat formed at the underside of Eggsy’s wrist and rolled over Harry’s fingers down Eggsy’s hand. Harry lifted the hands to his lips and nipped at the beat.  
Eggsy got startled and stared at him. 

‘Sorry.’ He retreated his hand to wipe the sweat off.  
‘What for?’ Harry sounded genuinely surprised and looked up with a smile.  
‘Being sweaty, I guess.’ Eggsy smiled back hesitantly.

‘I don’t mind you being sweaty.’

After a while of staring and breathing at such a blatant innuendo, Eggsy shifted to look at Harry properly.  
‘What do you want, Harry?’

Harry put away his magazine and glasses to mirror Eggsy’s more attentive posture.  
‘I want to make sure that you’re happy and safe and cared for.’ His voice was low and honest.  
‘Not want I meant.’ Said Eggsy. ‘I mean, what do you *want*? You love me. But now you just said that you also find me attractive, yeah?’  
‘Very.’  
‘When you… left the hotel room… Was that actually because I was… there?’ Eggsy’s eyes widened and a hint of mirth sparked in them.

Harry nodded, too tense to laugh it off.

Eggsy leaned forward and kissed him. Close to his face he whispered.  
‘What did you want then?’

‘I wanted to kiss and lick that bubble butt until you’d wake up just to pound you back into unconsciousness.’

Eggsy pressed out a strangled gulp of air. Open mouthed he breathed positively into Harry’s.

‘And now?’

Harry finally cracked a shy smile.

‘I want- I want to’ He was painfully aware of his empty hands and his hardening prick. ‘May I touch you?’

‘God, finally.’ Gasped Eggsy and took both of Harry’s palms to kiss them.

Harry leaned forward to have a taste of one of Eggsy’s perfectly pink nipples and smoothed his fingers down the slightly arched spine. Eggsy was like in shock from the change in pace. His arms supported his weight while he slowly, involuntarily crawled forward and into Harry’s lap were he started grinding the thin cover over Harry’s crotch.  
‘So eager just from getting one nipple sucked?’ Asked the older man and leaned back with both hands firmly on one grinding ass cheek.

‘If you ever suck anything else I might die.’ Eggsy kissed the exposed throat and sat down hard on the bulge that was now inevitably teasing his own crack.  
‘You mean this?’ Harry grabbed the rock hard cock rubbing against Eggsy’s strained abdomen.  
Eggsy’s teeth caught at Harry’s collarbone and he made a weeping noise.

‘Oh Eggsy. So needy for my touch. You’re getting wet.’ He got the hand off Eggsy’s cock and caressed the blonde hair while feeling Eggsy’s ass clench in response. Two fingers teased the goose bumps and stroked over the quivering crack. Eggsy lay flush against his upper body now. No strength left in his shaking limps.

‘If you get this excited from two hands on your body, what happens if I put something inside it?’  
‘Please.’ Breathed Eggsy, mouthing at his neck. ‘I’ve wanted your fat cock in me for ages.’

Harry slid two fingers between Eggsy’s cheeks and the fluttering whole engulfed them tightly.  
Eggsy whole body seemed to clench down like starving for the sensation of being filled.  
‘You think I’m big?’  
‘Mhm, a big fucker. A daddy’s peepee for proper babymaking. Lots of cum, too.’  
Eggsy got one hand into Harry’s pyjama bottoms and stroked the evidence while working Harry’s fingers with his channel. 

Harry’s breath came faster and his eyes lay dark on the boy in his lap.  
‘Would you ride me, Eggsy?’  
He pulled out his fingers and presented Eggsy’s own slick to him, who sucked at the digits eagerly and freed Harry’s cock from under the cover.  
Eggsy’s only response was a deep shudder.

Harry’s other hand held Eggsy’s hip as he slowly sank down on his lover’s erection. Pulsing and likely hard enough to drill holes.  
Every inch was a struggle and Eggsy rested his forehead against Harry’s. Only getting split open would make him feel whole. 

‘You’re doing so well, my darling.’ Whispered Harry strained. ‘So beautiful, it’s obscene.’ He couldn't take his eyes off the spot where their connecting grew deeper and it became evident how wanton and starved his boy was.

Completely seated on Harry, Eggsy took a second to adjust to the feeling of being stuffed full.

‘Oh fuck.’ Harry used that word only while literally fucking. ‘Eggsy you’re-‘  
‘Tight.’ There was a hint of pain.  
‘Yes.’  
Harry lay his head back again.

‘Please Eggsy, move.’ Harry was plainly begging at this point, holding on to Eggsy’s hips for dear life. His cock twitched in anticipation and the boy jolted with a high pitched moan.  
Eggsy rolled his hips once and slowly lifted himself before sinking back down with force. Both men groaned half from agony and pleasure.  
Eggsy’s hands rested against Harry’s chest and he slowly picked up a pace. The precome mixed with sweat made sloppy sounds with each shove and Eggsy keened from the cockhead abusing his prostate and the view of Harry’s sweat glistering throat and dark eyes watching him.

He was bouncing fast and Harry met each thrust when he felt his climax rush in.

‘I bet you look celestial when you spurt, darling. Show me. Let me see you shudder.’  
Eggsy obeyed the words he'd heard plenty in his own head.  
He cramped around the shaft inside his ass and came messily on Harry’s belly. He cried a little. A bit from release, but mostly arousal.

‘I’m not going to last, Eggsy.’  
‘Fuck me, then.’  
‘How?’  
‘Pound me. Hard.’ Eggsy lay down on his back. A pained expression at the loss of Harry’s cock.  
Harry growled in frustration at the feeling of the wet hole sliding off and was on Eggsy before his head even hit the mattress.  
Anchoring Eggsy by holding his wrists down by Eggsy’s head and wrapping the calves around his shoulders, he sank back into the addictive heat and pushed all air from Eggsy’s lungs with the first hard thrust. Like proving a point. Eggsy’s oversensitive body rippled under him and Eggsy’s head rolled to the side in toleration rigid. Harry’s teeth teased the exposed neck and he enjoyed the feeling of Eggsy’s arching back under him. A body unable to escape pleasure, completely at his mercy. In a last desperate plea Eggsy’s insides fluttered and took Harry in to the root. 

Harry came hard. Almost quiet. The channel milked every last drop from his cock and the feeling was not only overwhelming but perfect.  
As close as humanly possible. At last.

♦

Harry woke from the thunderstorm which made the old windows shiver. Raindrops were illuminated by a series of lightning flashes in the otherwise black night. As promised, a storm had reached the shore.  
He stood slowly and walked towards the balcony of the bedroom, making sure that Eggsy was sound asleep.

Stepping outside he closed the door behind him and was greeted by a wave of rain and wind. Harry inhaled deeply.  
The rain soaked him completely in no time.

It felt like catharsis. 

The next lightning revealed a silhouette next to him.  
Harry made a step back in surprise.

‘Eggsy!’ He raised his voice over the thunder.  
‘Now that he’s in heaven and all, maybe dad’s responsible for the weather.’ Eggsy seemed to have stepped fresh out of some dream. Shiny eyes, marvelling at the force of nature.

‘I believe your dad already had superpowers on earth.’ Said Harry much quieter. ‘He could see things in people they didn’t see themselves.’

Eggsy cuddled up to Harry.  
‘Like what?’

Harry looked at Eggsy.  
And all he felt was love.

‘He saw us.’


End file.
